BS Real Estate Agent Terms

Terms to Avoid

When you decide to sell your home or to purchase a new home, there are terms that other agents look at and think “WOW, I know exactly what that really means”.  Anyone who has ever written a performance report will understand, especially a military performance report.  I could sniff out a BS line a mile away when it came to performance reports.  A nice fluffy line that actually said “this person didnt do SQUAT but we have to fill in another line”.  These terms are the same thing.  If you see them, realize they mean absolutely nothing and the agent is just trying to use terms they “think” will sell.  Truth be told, an agent of more than 6 months knows these terms and will gladly tell you the real meaning if you would like to know, and many times will tell you it isn’t worth your time to look at it.  After all, that is why you work with us, so we don’t waste your time right?

Military Friendly Agent

I have to add this term to the list below.  What this actually means for 90% of the agents out there is, they took a half day course and now think they know military.  DO NOT let this fool you.  There are agents who have been in the military or their spouse is or was with them in the military so they know how it really works, the rest of the civilians THINK they know how it really works.  This is an industry sales slogan and a sales slogan only.  These agents do nothing different for the military than they would do for the manager at Lowes or the cashier at Wal-Mart.

If they say they are “Military Friendly”, ask them what makes them so special.  If all they say is they have a certification, they are just your normal run of the mill agent.  Not that they are bad people, just that they really bring nothing special to the table other than a class, just be aware of this.

If they truly ARE military friendly, they will offer something back, maybe a rebate program, free home warranty, rebate on mortgage etc.  Ask them if they offer something like that, THEN, compare them to the Hero Home Source program. I have compared them all and you will not find a program that gives more incentives to the Hero than this program.

Psst, I have actually had other agents from other companies tell me this too.

On to the list

Ok, so the real reason for this blog was some terms I found on a site that most real estate agents know the true meaning behind the phrase.  Sometimes you have to dig a bit deeper but for the most part, not so much.

Every industry suffers from it — overused, industry-specific jargon that everybody’s tired of hearing. You know, words and phrases that sounded cool way back when… but they’ve lost their luster.

1. “Will not last”

Not to burst your bubble, but those 317 days on market are telling a different story, chachie.

2. “Seller says sell”

No way! I thought you had snuck this listing on MLS without their knowledge!

3. “Big deck in rear”

This is just one letter away from a whole heap of embarrassment. If real estate agents insist on using this one, it should be done with extreme caution.

4. “Bring your pickiest buyers”

It’s not that this is the most horrible statement ever… it’s that it’s usually accompanied by a photo like this:


5. “Needs TLC”

C’mon, you know it’s a hot mess. There’s a big difference between “Tender Loving Care”, and “Tile, Lumber & Concrete”. So which is it? Most people have been conditioned to equate TLC with Tons of Loose Cash.

6. “Pottery Barn decor!”

Pottery Barn is a store, not a style. Not to mention, the sellers will be taking that with them when they move out.


Just keep it lower case, will ya? Capitalize only the words that need it. Otherwise you might just earn yourself a new nickname. Perhaps something like…


8. “Cozy”

C’mon, let’s just call it what it is: an itty bitty nook. You know good ‘n well a twin size bed won’t fit in that room.

9. “Priced to sell”

Well geez, I’d certainly hope so. If it weren’t, would there be any point in trying to sell it?

10. “Mrs. Clean lives here”

Would she consider staying if I bought the house?

11. “Hot water heater”

Sorry, but technically it’s a “water heater”. Saying “hot water heater” is redundant. If the water was hot, you wouldn’t need a heater.

12. Anything with bad spelling/grammar

Prime example: “Lot’s of closest space in they’re. Pet’s will be out. Your gonna love it. Owner’s takeing there drapes. Large dinning room. Prestegous. On off the best area’s out their.” Oh, my eyes!

13. “Updated”

This is cool to use if the home has been updated in, say, the last few years. But when the home was “updated” in the 80’s… um, HELLO, it’s outdated again!

14. “Better than new construction!”

Not only is this a textbook example of hyperbole, but you also run the risk of conjuring up images of driving by a used car lot: “Come on down! These cars are better than new!” Just, no.

15. “Walking closets”

Ahh, so THAT’S why we keep shoes in there.

16. “Don’t let this one pass you by!”

Because it’s on wheels?

17. “Show and sell”

Really? I’m gonna show it for kicks & not try to sell my buyer a house?

18. “A decorator’s touch”

C’mon. You should just come right out and say it. It has funky wall colors, doesn’t it?

19. “Open house this weekend”

Which weekend?

20. “Sellers prefer XYZ Title”

Yeah, no they don’t. You do. Most sellers have no idea which title company to pick.

21. “Room for a pool!”

There’s nothing quite like advertising something that it doesn’t (but could!) have. Hell, room for a goat farm, or ferris wheel too I suppose. Doesn’t have it now, but hey… it totally COULD!

22. “Rancher”

Ranchers have cows. It’s a “ranch” style home.

Ranch Style


23. “Too much to list”

No it’s not. C’mon, give it to me. I’d rather spend a few more seconds reading your listing description, than to visit the home and have it underwhelm my client.

24. “Boasts”

Just say no to this word. It’s one of the most overused words in modern real estate advertising. It’s simply lost its luster.

25. “Honey, stop the car”

I’m saving the best for last. And by best, I mean worst.  Yes agents actually use this term, just Google it and see what you get.

Retrieved from:

Hero Home Source:  For Military, Police, Fire Fighter and Teacher rebate incentives contact Mike Deehr Exit Realty


About madeehr1213

Burlington County Real Estate Sales and Solutions – Michael “Mike” Deehr, REALTOR® Associate, USAF Retired EXIT Realty is the areas fastest growing real estate firms. My team and I specialize in helping buyers and sellers invest in real estate property and homes in Southern New Jersey area including Medford Township, Medford Lakes, Evesham Township, Marlton, Southampton, Vincentown, Tabernacle, Lumberton, Eastampton, Westampton, Shamong, Mount Laurel, Hainesport, and the surrounding areas. (609) 714-EXIT (3948) Office (609) 284-3693 Direct
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